From: owner-alloy-digest@smoe.org (alloy-digest) To: alloy-digest@smoe.org Subject: alloy-digest V9 #120 Reply-To: alloy@smoe.org Sender: owner-alloy-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-alloy-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk X-To-Unsubscribe: Send mail to "alloy-digest-request@smoe.org" X-To-Unsubscribe: with "unsubscribe" as the body. alloy-digest Thursday, December 30 2004 Volume 09 : Number 120 Today's Subjects: ----------------- RE: Alloy: sad news from Thomas ["A. van Lammeren" ] RE: Alloy: sad news from Thomas ["Mary A Brown" ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Wed, 29 Dec 2004 09:02:30 +0100 From: "A. van Lammeren" Subject: RE: Alloy: sad news from Thomas Hi Alloyites, Citing Robin Thurlow: > I've just had some very sad news from Thomas. His father Martin Robertson > died last night at age 93. He had been in ill health for a while, and died > peacefully at home with his wife Louise by his side. Browsing his poetry I found: A poem you may like to see by Martin Robertson Watching the children shouting in the pool a powerful hurt hits me that Cecil cant hear, see, cant watch the change, the growth. But after all it wont be long before Im out of it too. Thats how it goes. More than grieve for her missing, love what she had and was, is, and live this for her while Im here. And if, as is most likely, you live on after me, please keep me with you that way. I dont say dont grieve. Of course you will. But share what matters with me (you will) as though Im there. People grieve when they loose a loved one. So my condolences too to all his family. But I was happy to read that Thomas has wonderful memories to keep. Dying at the age of 93 with your wife at your bed is something to be very grateful about. > Martin's life and poetry were a huge influence in Thomas' music. Martin > was a wonderful father, and in his letter, Thomas spoke of the many happy > memories he will always have of his dad. I post this while grieving myself. Sorry to be this personal, but given the quite personal postings before, the floodquake and now his father's death I think I can add this: Me and especially my wife, are in great sadness because of the loss of our fourth son, he died in his last day of pregnancy, probably because of multiple loops and a tight knot in his umbilical cord... It has been a bit longer than two months now, but still the pain is there, so strong. I wouldnt post this unless I wanted to say that Thomass music somehow gave us some consolation: during the gathering for his final goodbye, TMDRs "Valley of the Minds Eye" was played in two parts..., and his mother spoke a poem in remembrance of our son in between. I intuitively had chosen the track for its great atmospheric mood, but the lyrics later gripped me: How the world has changed since last I wrote. So tonight I take up my pen, not to marvel at these wondrous times, but to declare the love that is in my heart. and: And I will be with you I will stay with you and I will dream with you if you need me to anytime, anywhere in a corner of your minds eye Too short our boy was with us There is this strange division between me and my wife: she carried him alive for nine months, I only took him in my arms just after his birth, knowing he was dead already... Stages of grieve can be so confusing, and they are so different between individuals. But let me thank you all for giving me the opportunity to write about my feelings That alone helps, a bit. And we have those three other sons too (6, 4 and one and a half years of age). Perhaps some of you may have suggestions for other consoling music? Well, have a happy New Year anyway, Tara, Anton. ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 29 Dec 2004 15:01:41 -0800 From: "Mary A Brown" Subject: RE: Alloy: sad news from Thomas Hello Alloyites, This is very sad news indeed. I was fortunate enough to call Martin my friend (he, like most of my friends, even called me Europa!) and I very much feel a loss. Even though I haven't spoken with him in several years (some attempts I made to contact him never received a reply), I still remember his kindness, sense of humor, and deep love for his family. Anton, the poem you quoted must have been written about the time I met him. The Cecil who is mentioned is Thomas' mom and sadly, I never got to meet her. She died shortly after I received a lovely letter from her in response to one I wrote telling her how much I love Thomas. All losses are equally painful and please accept my sincere condolences for yours. I'm glad you've been able to gather some comfort from TMDR's music and hope that you might also take some from us at Alloy who care about you and wish you and your wife didn't have to carry this burden. My heart goes out to Thomas at this time (I, too, lost my father around Christmas 5 years ago) and also to Louise who is a wonderful, witty, and worthy companion to Martin. She charmed me instantly when I met her when I, not being able to decide what to order for lunch but was lured my the dessert tray, encouraged me to just eat some cake and forget about the healthy stuff. Much comfort is sent their way. If anyone is interested, I'll post my favorite poem by Martin. With much sorry, Mary ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 29 Dec 2004 15:20:11 -0800 From: "Mary A Brown" Subject: RE: Alloy: sad news from Thomas I wrote: >With much sorry, Um, make that sorrow. Yikes, I am really slipping... ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 29 Dec 2004 21:00:36 -0800 (PST) From: Robin Thurlow Subject: Alloy: possible memorial I wonder if I could suggest a type of memorial tribute we might make in honor of Professor Robertson. Through the Buddhist Peace Fellowship I have found the following information for OXFAM: Go to: www.oxfam.org/eng/oxfam_sites.htm to find your country or the Oxfam home page. In the USA go to: https://secure.ga3.org/02/oxfamamerica?extra1=asian_quake_2004 I've just been searching for some way to help the survivors of this week's terrible tsunami, which I know we are all reading about with increasing feelings of heartbreak. They are in a very dire situation, and now the threat of infectious disease looms over them, to claim even more precious lives. If anyone cares to make a donation, there is a way to do so in a person's memory (look to the directory on the left) Donations can be made online, in memory of Martin Robertson. For the memorial card's sending address, I have tried to think of an efficient way to handle this. In fact, I would be very honored to collect your cards, if you would like to send them to my PO Box. I can then forward them to the proper address so that Thomas and his family will receive them. My mailing address: Robin Thurlow BU 353 Binghamton University Binghamton, NY 13902-6000 This is a very spontaneous idea I've just had upon finding the OXFAM information for the tsunami relief fund. Professor Robertson was a world traveler who loved and cared very much for people as individuals. It occured to me that this disaster relief might be a fitting way to honor his memory. If anyone has any questions or concerns, or other ideas & suggestions, please contact me & I'll try my best to help. xx ~robin The all-new My Yahoo!  What will yours do? ------------------------------ End of alloy-digest V9 #120 ***************************