From: owner-alloy-digest@smoe.org (alloy-digest) To: alloy-digest@smoe.org Subject: alloy-digest V6 #297 Reply-To: alloy@smoe.org Sender: owner-alloy-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-alloy-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk X-To-Unsubscribe: Send mail to "alloy-digest-request@smoe.org" X-To-Unsubscribe: with "unsubscribe" as the body. alloy-digest Tuesday, November 13 2001 Volume 06 : Number 297 Today's Subjects: ----------------- Alloy: Personal Sentiments (OT) ["David Abbitt" ] Re: Alloy: Personal Sentiments (OT) ["Keith Stansell" ] Alloy: [OT sorry] Like an itch in your headphones [Paul Baily ] Re: Alloy: Personal Sentiments (OT) [Robin Thurlow Subject: Alloy: Personal Sentiments (OT) Wow. I've never used Alloy as a reflecting board for my personal life before, but here goes. I've had a terrible week. A year ago last Thursday my grandfather, who was like a father to me, passed away. On the anniversary of his death this last week his widow, my grandmother, who is 85, was hit and then run over by a car while crossing the street, and is in the hospital facing months of painful rehab. Chances are she'll never be the same. Then, just last night my only other surviving grandparent, my dad's dad, passed away in (of all places) New Jersey. I've never had to deal with this sort of thing before, really. I'm 32 years old, and I suppose fortunate in that I've had family and friends who have enjoyed incredible longevity and good health, so this is pretty foreign territory. I'm having some trouble coming to terms with it all. The permanecy of these types of losses are hard to deal with. That's not to say I haven't thought about the possibilities of losing loved ones before and what it would be like. My grandfather who just died was, after all, 95. Yet, even though I had thought about it in mock preparation for the events that are now unfolding, the impacts I'm feeling I couldn't have foreseen. That I have vivid and pleasant memories of these people, that I can see their faces and hear their voices in my head is wonderful. At the same time, I know memories can fade, and I fear losing them forever. Also, it's hard, to think I'll never feel the security of my grandfather's reassuring presence again, or be cheered by my father's father's smile and humor. I guess I'm reaching out because I don't know who else to talk to about this. Maybe I just felt like writing something down and sending it out there into the ether. Forgive my rambling. But, if you feel the desire to respond, if you think you may have something to say that may help shed some light on what is otherwise a very dark subject, I welcome the feedback. In the meantime, peace be with you all. - -Dabbitt _________________________________________________________________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 12 Nov 2001 00:30:34 -0700 From: "Keith Stansell" Subject: Re: Alloy: Personal Sentiments (OT) David, I think I know exactly what you feel. I had a similar experience this summer. My grandmother (mother's mother) developed untreatable cancer in June and it was clear she wasn't going to be with us very long. I managed to go to Louisiana to visit her (I live in Colorado) expecting it to be the last time I would get to see her. Two weeks after my visit, my grandfather (her husband) died of a sudden massive heart attack. My mother was visiting my grandmother at the time and was with him when he passed away. Although he was about 10 years older than her, he was never sick and his passing came as a total surprise to everyone. I went back to Louisiana for his funeral and again got to see my grandmother, who was in much worse health than my previous visit. In a way, she was glad that he passed before she did because she didn't want him to be lonely without her. I was glad to have seen him two weeks prior and also glad to see my grandmother one more time. Needless to say, she didn't have a lot of fight after his passing and she died three weeks after his funeral. I again returned to Louisiana for her funeral which was on the day that would have been her 77th birthday. This was also difficult for me because like you, at 35 I haven't had much experience with this. My grandfather on my dad's side of the family passed away when I was 17 but it didn't seem to have the impact these two deaths had on me. After the funeral, the family went to my grandparents house for lunch and just to be with each other. It was very strange to be in their house, but without them their. Along with my grandparents passing, a bit of me also passed away. I knew that I wouldn't be able to experience the comfort and love that I always experienced while visiting my grandparents. I would also never be able to eat my grandmother's wonderful down home cooking either. Just thinking about this past summer has brought back the emotions. I don't think I have any advice on how to cope with it. Just cherish those memories and do what you can to keep them from fading. I like to find aspects of my personality that I had in common with them. Little parts of them that are in me, that way they are still part of my life, even though they are gone. I still have one grandmother left. I think it is time I give her a call. Take care, You can write me directly if you want to talk about it more. - -Keith Keith@Stansell.com - ----- Original Message ----- From: "David Abbitt" To: Sent: Sunday, November 11, 2001 11:34 PM Subject: Alloy: Personal Sentiments (OT) > > Wow. I've never used Alloy as a reflecting board for my personal life > before, but here goes. > > I've had a terrible week. A year ago last Thursday my grandfather, who was > like a father to me, passed away. On the anniversary of his death this last > week his widow, my grandmother, who is 85, was hit and then run over by a > car while crossing the street, and is in the hospital facing months of > painful rehab. Chances are she'll never be the same. Then, just last night > my only other surviving grandparent, my dad's dad, passed away in (of all > places) New Jersey. > > I've never had to deal with this sort of thing before, really. I'm 32 years > old, and I suppose fortunate in that I've had family and friends who have > enjoyed incredible longevity and good health, so this is pretty foreign > territory. I'm having some trouble coming to terms with it all. The > permanecy of these types of losses are hard to deal with. That's not to say > I haven't thought about the possibilities of losing loved ones before and > what it would be like. My grandfather who just died was, after all, 95. > Yet, even though I had thought about it in mock preparation for the events > that are now unfolding, the impacts I'm feeling I couldn't have foreseen. > That I have vivid and pleasant memories of these people, that I can see > their faces and hear their voices in my head is wonderful. At the same > time, I know memories can fade, and I fear losing them forever. Also, it's > hard, to think I'll never feel the security of my grandfather's reassuring > presence again, or be cheered by my father's father's smile and humor. > > I guess I'm reaching out because I don't know who else to talk to about > this. Maybe I just felt like writing something down and sending it out > there into the ether. Forgive my rambling. But, if you feel the desire to > respond, if you think you may have something to say that may help shed some > light on what is otherwise a very dark subject, I welcome the feedback. In > the meantime, peace be with you all. > > -Dabbitt > > _________________________________________________________________ > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 12 Nov 2001 21:12:19 +1000 From: Paul Baily Subject: Re: Alloy: Personal Sentiments (OT) > Wow. I've never used Alloy as a reflecting board for my personal life > before, but here goes. Dabbitt - David, I'd like to echo Keith's eloquent words. I'm sure I speak for many of us in saying that we're right by your side. Though it sounds woefully inadequate in mere ascii, I'm truly sorry for your loss. I'm still coming to terms with the death of my maternal grandfather from about six years back (my paternal grandfather died before I was born.) I regret that I don't think I was mature enough or open enough at the time to realise how much he meant to me. Even now thoughts of him catch me in an unguarded moment and bring me to tears. I know there's nothing I or others can say that might bring solace in this time; instead all I can offer is that while memories can fade over time, they do come back for a visit every now and then, and more so if you're fortunate enough to have something to remember them by, no matter how trivial. For example, my grandma gave me my grandfather's binoculars. I know that sounds funny but to me it's a tangible tie. I think of him every time I see them. I think of him not as the old man I saw in later years but as the pragmatic, decent, vibrant, mirthful, youthful person that he was. I also have a partially restored violin of hers that she grew up playing to remember her by though I hope she still lives a long while. Sorry for rambling, I guess what it comes down to is that while it can be painful to do so, I think it's important to remember them. I also like to think that (and I'm sorry if this sounds corny) a part of them - their legacy if you will - lives on as a part of you. These people were a big part in your growing up; they helped shaped the person you are today. You do them credit. Paul. This message powered by Goodnight Mr. Matthews off Primitive Man/Icehouse. I'll sit by the window, you sit anywhere that you want to. ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 12 Nov 2001 21:21:05 +1000 From: Paul Baily Subject: Alloy: [OT sorry] Like an itch in your headphones [written Saturday PM] Hi y'all, Sorry for the OT msg, but I've a question for our audio & electronic/computer experts if I may. It's been raining all day here in Brisbane (love it! Our farmers need it.) so I did what any red-blooded Aussie does on such days, planted myself in front of the TV. :-) Rather than watch free to air (I don't have nor particularly want cable right now) I hired a couple of DVDs. I ended up with Anti-trust and Shrek - both excellent films BTW if you ask me! To watch DVDs, I employ my trusty sidekick, an Apple PowerBook 2000 Firewire (Pismo) hooked up through it's S-Video out port direct to a garden variety Sony TV (using an S-Video to RCA direct to vid in), but more importantly, the audio goes out from a 3.5mm stereo connector on the 'book to a Line In on my main amp which is a NAD 302 (years old but beautiful piece of kit if you ask this audio novice) Anyway, so I don't p*ss the neighbours off on such occasions, I use a pair of Sony MDR-V600 headphones to complete the experience. To my problem. When watching said DVDs today, I encountered a weird problem I've not seen for 15-20 years and back then I couldn't figure it out either. While watching the titles I soon noticed just the whisper of background noise. I paused the DVD, turned up the amp volume and found that the noise was still there. Though it sounds bizarre I was just faintly hearing a radio station. All other components connected to the amp (turntable, tape deck, MD, CD) were powered off, and there's no tuner connected to this system at all. Later the interference seemed to stop or at least drop below audible levels. So, my question, what do you think could cause this? Better yet, is there any way I can shield these components to avoid this? cheers, Paul. [who's miffed that Madonna sold out to the Collective with one of my favourite songs... sorry Peter. I know some are fighting the good fight. :-) ] This message powered by - oh joy - live coverage of the results of the federal election. ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 12 Nov 2001 21:21:17 +1000 From: Paul Baily Subject: Alloy: battle damage In case any of you are wondering what it looks like when a white Mitsubishi Lancer munches on a Honda Prelude, I did some involuntary market research a week or so ago. :-) P. This message powered by I Feel Loved off Exciter/Depeche Mode. [It's not that kind of car dammit from HELL!!] ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 12 Nov 2001 10:18:29 -0500 From: Robin Thurlow Subject: Re: Alloy: Personal Sentiments (OT) David Abbitt wrote: > I guess I'm reaching out because I don't know who else to talk to about > this. Maybe I just felt like writing something down and sending it out > there into the ether. Forgive my rambling. But, if you feel the desire to > respond, if you think you may have something to say that may help shed some > light on what is otherwise a very dark subject, I welcome the feedback. In > the meantime, peace be with you all. I'm sorry to hear this news. Death is not something most people like to talk or even think about. My father and I talked about it quite a bit - we talked about everything anyway, & the soul's existence after death was something that truly interested him. Still when he died almost thirteen years ago, when I was 21, it was a massive blow to me. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him and remember him vividly and fondly. I can still hear the sound of his voice and the way his clothes smelled. Those who we love who pass from this world are still a very real presence in our lives. You will never forget them, but what will happen is that you'll be able to have your memories, and the pain will generally decrease as the years go on so that it's mostly fondness and joy. The pain comes from missing them so incredibly. After a while one becomes more accustomed to the physical absence, and confidence comes from knowing you will never really be without them. But at first, I remember, I was in so much shock that I couldn't mentally conjur up anything about my father. Please hang in there & know you're absolutely not alone. I'd send you a big blokey hug, a la our dear Paul, except I'm not a bloke... so I hope my girly one will be of some comfort at least.. xxxx Robin T ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 12 Nov 2001 23:40:08 +0000 From: Slarvibarglhee Subject: Alloy: New arrival for an ex-subscriber For those of you who remember "Maurice" aka John Duffy from the FES Tap Room, ( a key contributor to The Emeritus Professor interactive story) I've just heard that he's become a proud father again, though his message was short and to the point i.e. "His name is Aidan William Duffy. 9 lbs. Everyone is fine." Any old friends who want to send greetings/congratualtory messages can mail him at john@thefincompany.com Slarv ------------------------------ Date: Mon, 12 Nov 2001 23:36:08 +0000 From: Slarvibarglhee Subject: Re: Alloy: battle damage Paul Baily wrote: > In case any of you are wondering what it looks like when a white > Mitsubishi Lancer munches on a Honda Prelude, I did some involuntary > market research a week or so ago. :-) > > > Tiz but a scratch. I don't have a picture of the remains of the Honda Civic I managed to demolish a little while ago (with the help of an Austrian heavy goods truck) but it was bent WAYYYyyyyy out of shape by the time we stopped spinning. I'm not sure that we'd have walked away with so few injuries if it had been my own Dirty Datsun (it's a Nissan, really, but that's the same thing, and it usually IS dirty) but all I can conclude from my own experience is that Hondas are a good vehicle to be in if you ARE going to have to have a crash. Slarv ------------------------------ End of alloy-digest V6 #297 ***************************