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alloy-digest          Wednesday, May 23 2001          Volume 06 : Number 130



                               Today's Subjects:
                               -----------------
  Alloy: motorhomes are Ay oh Ay oh in Teletubby land  ["Tim Hudson" <tim_hu]
  Alloy: Excel's hidden flight simulator - Cool Excel secret area  ["Tim Hud]
  Alloy: True (and some not so true) Adventures in Steel Town  ["Ian Gifford]
  Alloy: TMDR on CBC is A-OK           ["Ian Gifford" <igifford@hotmail.com>]
  Re: Alloy: TMDR on CBC is A-OK                   [Merujo <merujo@home.com>]
  Alloy: Yet another May Two Four adventure with Lissu in mind  ["Ian Giffor]
  Re: Alloy: Excel's hidden flight simulator - Cool Excel secret area  [Slar]
  Re: Alloy: motorhomes are Ay oh Ay oh in Teletubby land  [Slarvibarglhee <]

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Tue, 22 May 2001 08:56:16 +0000
From: "Tim Hudson" <tim_hudson@zdnetonebox.com>
Subject: Alloy: motorhomes are Ay oh Ay oh in Teletubby land

Hi, from sunny Lux.

Re: Snap my picture

I found the correct prodigy song title offensive.

I only heard the song a couple of times and could'nt judge or comment
upon the lyrics though.

So I was happy to read Slarvs 'snap my picture' - I can live with that
instead.

Has anyone hear been upset or offended by any of Thomas's lyrics I wonder?

I cant think of anything thats dodgy offhand.........

Also what is the worst lyric of all time by anybody anywhere......

or even just the worst lyric of TMDR !! Is there anything that doesn't
cut it or makes you cringe.......

On the subject of lyrics.....Fruit juice everywhere.....does the 'Westchster
Thruway' really exist and I wonder where that Launderette was........
Ive always imagined it to be somewhere in Clapham or Wandsworth in London.
But being a child of the A3 I would wouldn't I ?

The copper cables all rust in the acid rain.....

she cabled them to me..............[good pre internet ref there!]

Deep in the half light on this one.........and what is the lyric about
the motorhomes - 

It sounds like the motorhomes are Ay oh Ay oh ........or something?

I always have to mumble over that bit because I cant sing along the words.
 Bah!

The motorhomes what ? ........

AY oh [maybe its Teletubby land?]

Tim.



- -- 
Tim Hudson
tim_hudson@zdnetonebox.com - email



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------------------------------

Date: Tue, 22 May 2001 09:38:33 +0000
From: "Tim Hudson" <tim_hudson@zdnetonebox.com>
Subject: Alloy: Excel's hidden flight simulator - Cool Excel secret area

This is cool. Even if it is news that did the rounds a few years ago...

The geeks who coded Microsoft Excel hid this secret area inside the program.

Its like a flight simulator and has a scrolling list of programming credits
on a rock.  But to get to the rock and see the scrolling text you have
to 'fly' around the landscape a bit. 

Excel's hidden flight simulator. Follow these steps: 

All you need is a bog standarad copy of Microsoft Excel

Click the New Button 
To create a new workbook 

Press F5 
The GoTo dialog box appears 

In the Reference box type: X97.L97 

Confirm your typing and click on OK (or press Enter) 
Several cells in row 97 should be selected 

Press the Tab key one time 
The active cell should be M97 

Hold down both the Ctrl and Shift keys and click on the Chart Wizard
tool 

Give the PC a few seconds and you should be flying! 

Steer with the mouse and look for the credits screen and the lake area.
Use the Left mouse button to move forward and the Right mouse button
to move backward 

Stop this madness by pressing Ctrl+ Shift+ Esc 

Its got bugger all to do with Thomas other than it might amuse him. 

Theres probably a backdoor to something cool in Beatnick somewhere? 
All you'd have to do is type in the magic words 'Theres only one Geoff
Hurst' and you'd be in on Dolbyland (in 5.1 surround)!  "Should have
done it in Dubly" [Spinal Tap]. 

Anyone know any more about this secret area like why it was coded and
are there any other secret areas within Excel or other microsoft products?

Appologies for being off message, but this Secret Excel area is quite
a big suprise when you get there.....

I think you'll find it worth trying out but dont forget the Ctrl+ Shift+
Esc  to stop it !!!

bye.

- -- 
Tim Hudson
tim_hudson@zdnetonebox.com - email



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------------------------------

Date: Tue, 22 May 2001 11:11:29 -0400
From: "Ian Gifford" <igifford@hotmail.com>
Subject: Alloy: True (and some not so true) Adventures in Steel Town

So...


....The date was set for 2:30pm on Saturday May 19th, 2001. I arrived at 
2:33 with my Steel Town tour guide, Kim, in tow. When I saw the front porch, 
it was exactly as Crackers had described; a purpley porch floor with rails 
and bannisters in white and green. It reminded me of one of the patios in 
the movie "Sleeping with the Enemy" (I hate that movie, but I do remember 
that there are some great patios in it!)

SHortly after entering the front door, Crackers invited us to "The Geek 
ROom"... "Really??" I thought "I am going to get to see the infamous 'geek 
room'??? Can it be that easy". So we walked through 2 rooms and into the 
kitchen where the stairs were tucked around a corner. He led us down the 
stairs past a mountain of pizza boxes (and not just any pizza... "Pizza 
Pizza", which leads me to believe that it was most likely the mediteranean 
veggie pizza mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmm) to the entrance of 
the geek room.

As we approached it, Crackers stopped, handed us goggles and Self Contained 
Breathing Apparatae as he placed his hand onto a pod at the side of the 
doorway. All of a sudden machinery started whirrring, a contraption lowered 
from the ceiling which engulfed Crackers' head. "NOW CONDUCTING RETINAL AND 
NASAL MUCUS SCAN FOR SECURITY AUTHORIZATION" boomed a voice from out of 
nowhere. Kim and I looked at each other a little nervous wondering if lasers 
might shoot out around us, should this machinery fail to recognize it's 
master and creator. Seconds later, we were in!

As we walked into the room one could not help but notice the vast libraries 
of computer game cartridges, video game units, monitors on every wall, and a 
plethora of tubes and wires (and careful notes). I was in awe and pretty 
much breathless. Crackers was very gracious immediately by offering a 
beverage to each of us (mmmm I like  Honey Brown!!). After a brief tour of 
the various gadgets and instruments flanking each wall, I found an old 
Silvertone arch top with f-holes just begging to be played.

One chord strum later and it was responded to with a blast from an accordion 
(it was like the scene from "Meet John Doe" where John Willoughby pulls out 
a harmonica and the "Colonel" pulls out a "doo hickey" just as quick).

It was a very cool exchange of songs that went from Crackers describing some 
of his gigging escapades and back to me talking about some of mine. We 
jammed together on tunes like "NuVogue" (great harmonies between us!!) 
"Istanbul was Constantinople", "The Legend of Bill", "The little Bitter 
Song" and some other Crackers classics. We had Kim in stitches and in awe 
for much of the jams.

So, after 2 hours of exchanging tunes and lies, Kim and I had to venture out 
so that we could go make dinner and Leaves Chris and his wife Beena to get 
ready for a party. We however did resolve to get back together and take our 
jams to tape sometime in the near future. Hopefully we can post them to the 
Alloyance so that they may know what kind of monsters they have created ;)

My impression of Crackers from our meeting is that he is absolutely as crazy 
as he appears through his postings. I know that he and I will get along JUST 
FINE ;)

By the way... On a TMDR note... Crackers did show me some computer enhanced 
drawings of what Thomas might look like in drag... I was impressed... Thomas 
certainly has the legs for it.

Peace all...

Ian

(the first alloy witness to the Geek Room from Hell)
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------------------------------

Date: Tue, 22 May 2001 11:27:15 -0400
From: "Ian Gifford" <igifford@hotmail.com>
Subject: Alloy: TMDR on CBC is A-OK

On Saturday morning in Hamilton, Kim and I were preparing for a day of 
adventure. We planned to go to a farmers market and seek out Veggies and 
spices and such for me to make her one of my famous Indian dishes (Channa 
Masala). We were talking about my proposed meeting With Crackers for later 
on in that day and she asked me about Alloy. I explained to her about how I 
came to be part of the mailing list in June of '97 and how I was enticed 
into helping in the production of the first ever B-day tribute.

She wasn't too familiar with Thomas Dolby at all until I hummed some tunes 
that she thought she recognized.

Moments later, we were drinking coffee (she had tea actually) and listening 
to "I hear Music" on CBC radio 2. The show was doing a special on "One Hit 
Wonders" and was playing tunes like "Pachelbel's Cannon in D" and "I love 
The Nightlife" when all of a sudden a highly familiar Keyboard intro filled 
the room. I did a rugby-esque dive for the volume control and cranked it up 
chanting "Oh WOW Oh WOW!!!". It was "She blinded me with Science". I was 
surprised to hear it on CBC and alternately shocked to hear it amongst some 
of these other "One Hit WOnders". I started laughing and singing along and 
dancing around the room, acting out the Magnus Pike parts and dramatizing 
the Bridge "I can't believe it... there she goes again.... "

Kim was giggling uncontrollably.

Shortly afterwards I called Crackers to confirm our meeting for 2:30pm and 
told him of the CBC show. He laughed heartily when I told him it was a "One 
Hit Wonder" special and said "Awwwwwww... poor Thomas"

THe radio announcer did come on later in the show and say "And you got to 
hear one of my Favorite One hit wonders "SBMWS by Thomas Dolby".

I was impressed. I was glad. I was pumped for the meeting later that day...

Congrats Thomas... CBC loves ya...

And so do I,

Ian
_________________________________________________________________________
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------------------------------

Date: Tue, 22 May 2001 12:59:47 -0400
From: Merujo <merujo@home.com>
Subject: Re: Alloy: TMDR on CBC is A-OK

Okay, the first half of this isn't Dolby-related, but it's CBC-related. I'm
liking the CBC a whole lot lately. Crackers and Ian might remember The
Frantics, a Canadian comedy group that did a lot of funny stuff in the '80's.
Members of the group have gone on to do a whole variety of fun things,
including writing and producing some stuff that folks on both sides of the
Canadian/US border would know, including Kids in the Hall...

The Frantics did a bunch of hilarious sketches that were heard on Dr. Demento
(god, I loved the good doctor when I was in high school/college - we don't get
him here in DC.) One of the sketches was called "Last Will and Temperment"
about the reading of a will, where the dearly departed gave each person
something small or large from the estate, followed by "a boot to the head" (and
after every person got his or her boot, his sister and her husband got extras
for good measure - "and another one for Jenny and the wimp!")

Well, when my dad died in '86 and all the family was gathered 'round planning
the funeral, we were starved for amusement. I got out my old Dr. Demento tapes
and played The Frantics for everyone. My mother thought "Last Will and
Temperment" was the funniest thing ever, and she even had me play it again
before we went off to the lawyer for the reading of Dad's will. From then on,
Mom, when she was feeling particularly wacky, finished off phone calls to kids
not with "I love you" but a demented little "and a boot to the head."

My mom's last words were to my brother's significant other in Germany. She
offered him, barely able to breathe, "a boot to the head." This has been a
significant source of humor in a tough time. Finally, last week, I thought that
maybe these Canadian comedy guys might find this amusing. Just on the off
chance it would work, I sent e-mail to an address I found on the CBC website
for radio stuff, asking them, if possible, to forward it to the members of The
Frantics.

Well, imagine my delight to see that not only did the CBC do that, I've
received two lovely, funny notes from Peter Wildman and Dan Redican, formerly
of The Frantics, which I've shared  with my family. Well done, Canadian
Broadcasting Company. Here ends your Canadian content for the day. :-)

I just got back around 1 this morning from picking up all my family photos and
geneological research out in Illinois. I drove 17 hours in blinding rain and
fog yesterday, but I managed to find "all '80's" stations on the radio all the
way - I didn't know they existed until this trip! I used my cell phone and
requested Dolby tuneage on each one. (I asked for anything, and I got: SBMWS,
Europa, Hyperactive, and SBMWS, again.) I am taking the day off today to dry
off and unload the car. 20 boxes of photos and tons of other stuff. And, of
course, it's humid and jungle-like here today...

Cheers, y'all,

Melissa

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 22 May 2001 13:23:43 -0400
From: "Ian Gifford" <igifford@hotmail.com>
Subject: Alloy: Yet another May Two Four adventure with Lissu in mind

Lissu,

I was going to go private with this but I couldn't find your addy in my list 
(???? what happened there I wonder?... I know I had it)

I met a DJ from New York who was spinning 12"s that had a very similar sound 
and groove to "Shelter". I noticed a "Discman" sitting around so I went down 
to Kim's car and pulled out my Alloy discs and brought them up so that this 
guy could hear your stuff on his headphones. He was rather impressed and 
would be interested in hearing more. What can we do to make this a 
possibility??

I have emails and Phone #'s. He has a company called "Offworld Productions/ 
Dancing Mice" and his name is Scott.

Be in touch please,

Ian
_________________________________________________________________________
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------------------------------

Date: Tue, 22 May 2001 23:24:06 +0100
From: Slarvibarglhee <slarvibarglhee@alloy99.freeserve.co.uk>
Subject: Re: Alloy: Excel's hidden flight simulator - Cool Excel secret area

Tim Hudson wrote:

> [snipped]

>
> Anyone know any more about this secret area like why it was coded and
> are there any other secret areas within Excel or other microsoft products?

I seem to remember there was a little movie in Word as well.  Not quite
so
exciting as the flight sim, but it came up with credits for the
programmers.
Can't remember how it was activated now.  Sorry.

Slarv

This message powered by the biggest chocolate chip cookie I've ever had
and
Trelock Gurtu (?) on BBC Radio 3.

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 22 May 2001 23:12:49 +0100
From: Slarvibarglhee <slarvibarglhee@alloy99.freeserve.co.uk>
Subject: Re: Alloy: motorhomes are Ay oh Ay oh in Teletubby land

Tim Hudson wrote:

> Hi, from sunny Lux.
>
> Re: Snap my picture
>
> I found the correct prodigy song title offensive.
>

Erm, I think that was the idea.  It's a good way to sell a lot of records.  The
easiest way to get a number one in the UK is to get the BBC to ban your song.

>
> I only heard the song a couple of times and could'nt judge or comment
> upon the lyrics though.
>
> So I was happy to read Slarvs 'snap my picture' - I can live with that
> instead.
>

That's what it sounds like to me and I prefer to think of it that way.

>
> Has anyone hear been upset or offended by any of Thomas's lyrics I wonder?
>
> I cant think of anything thats dodgy offhand.........
>

What, not even 'Knickers steaming in the chilly air of the morning.'?

>
> Also what is the worst lyric of all time by anybody anywhere......
>
> or even just the worst lyric of TMDR !! Is there anything that doesn't
> cut it or makes you cringe.......
>
> On the subject of lyrics.....Fruit juice everywhere.....does the 'Westchster
> Thruway' really exist and I wonder where that Launderette was........
> Ive always imagined it to be somewhere in Clapham or Wandsworth in London.
> But being a child of the A3 I would wouldn't I ?
>

Good grief.  We British wouldn't call a road a 'Thruway' (though if we did we'd
spell it properly i.e. through way), so I've always imagined it as being in the
US.

>
> The copper cables all rust in the acid rain.....
>

Ah, now, I'm glad you said that.  Copper doesn't rust, does it?  It's not a
ferrous metal; it might corrode, but it don't rust.  But it's artistic license,
so let's not dwell on it.

>
> she cabled them to me..............[good pre internet ref there!]
>

Never understood that either.  I think my artistic license must have been
revoked.

>
> Deep in the half light on this one.........and what is the lyric about
> the motorhomes -
>
> It sounds like the motorhomes are Ay oh Ay oh ........or something?
>
> I always have to mumble over that bit because I cant sing along the words.
>  Bah!
>
> The motorhomes what ? ........
>
> AY oh [maybe its Teletubby land?]
>

Now it can be revealed.  Thomas is really a ghost writer for the Teletubbies and
was trying out some ideas.

Slarv

------------------------------

End of alloy-digest V6 #130
***************************