From: owner-alloy-digest@smoe.org (alloy-digest) To: alloy-digest@smoe.org Subject: alloy-digest V6 #92 Reply-To: alloy@smoe.org Sender: owner-alloy-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-alloy-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk X-To-Unsubscribe: Send mail to "alloy-digest-request@smoe.org" X-To-Unsubscribe: with "unsubscribe" as the body. alloy-digest Thursday, April 12 2001 Volume 06 : Number 092 Today's Subjects: ----------------- Alloy: A daft joke and TMDR Guitar question? ["Tim Hudson" ] Re: Alloy: (OT) phobias, was: Thomas performs!! ["Trevor James Blagg" Subject: Alloy: A daft joke and TMDR Guitar question? Hi ....... heres a crap joke for Babeling ...... Une petite vieille s'en va un beau jour a la Banque du Canada avec un sac plein d'argent. Elle insiste pour parler avec le Prisident pour ouvrir un compte. J'ai, dit-elle, un paquet de pognon ! Apres un temps de riflexion, un employi l'emmhne jusqu'au bureau du Prisident (le client a toujours raison !). Le Prisident de la banque lui demande combien elle veut diposer et elle lui ripond : 165 000 $, en jetant le sac sur son bureau. Le prisident fut clairement curieux de savoir comment elle avait obtenu tout ce liquide, et il lui demanda : Madame, je suis surpris de vous voir transporter tout ce liquide. Comment avez-vous fait pour l'obtenir ? La petite vieille lui ripondit: Je fais des paris. Le prisident lui demanda encore : Des paris ? Quels types de paris ? La petite vieille lui ripondit : Par exemple, je parie 25 000 $ que vos couilles sont carries. Ha ! s'esclaffa le Prisident, c'est un pari stupide ! Vous ne pourrez jamais gagner un pari de ce genre-la ! La vieille dame lui ripondit : Alors vous acceptez mon pari ? Bien s{r dit le Prisident. Je parie 25 000 $ que mes couilles ne sont pas carries ! Alors, la petite vieille lui dit : Etant donne qu'il s'agit d'un paquet d'argent, puis-je revenir demain matin ` 10 heures avec mon avocat comme timoin ? Bien s{r lui dit le Prisident confiant. Cette nuit-l`, le Prisident itait vraiment nerveux ` cause du pari et il passa beaucoup de temps devant un miroir ` contrtler ses couilles en les tournant continuellement ` droite puis ` gauche. Il les contrtla avec attention jusqu'` ce qu'il soit s{r qu'elles n'itaient pas carries. Et qu'il avait gagni le pari... Le matin suivant ` 10 h 00 pricises, la vieille dame fit son apparition avec son avocat dans le bureau du Prisident ; Elle prisenta son avocat au prisident et lui rappelle le pari : 25 000 $ que les couilles du Prisident sont carries ! Le prisident accepta de nouveau le pari et la petite vieille lui demanda de baisser son pantalon de telle sorte que tout le monde puisse voir. La petite vieille scruta attentivement les couilles et demanda si elle pouvait les toucher. Bien s{r, dit le Prisident, au fond 25 000 $ c'est une somme et je pense que vous devez jtre absolument s{re. Au mjme moment il remarqua que l'avocat itait silencieusement en train de se taper la tjte contre le mur. Le Prisident demanda ` la petite vieille : Qu'a donc votre avocat ? Et elle de ripondre : Rien ` part le fait que j'ai parii 100 000 $ avec lui qu'` 10 h 00 du matin j'aurai dans mes mains les couilles du Prisident de la Banque du Canada. I appologise for being off message. Just hope a bit of humour and babel fish translation makes some light relief occaisionally....... The thing which gets me about this 'joke' is why the president of the bank of Canada ? !!!! By the way: Does Thomas play Guitar ? I wonder if he or anyone else here has ever tried a MIDI guitar synth controller ? A la prochain fois et salut! Tim. - -- Tim Hudson tim_hudson@zdnetonebox.com - email ___________________________________________________________________ To get your own FREE ZDNet Onebox - FREE voicemail, email, and fax, all in one place - sign up today at http://www.zdnetonebox.com ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 11 Apr 2001 11:08:48 +0300 From: jonathan.chiddick@nokia.com Subject: Alloy: RE: alloy-digest V6 #91 Mornin' all, > > Crackers, your USA phobia is interesting, but I assure you > (and I'm sure you've been told this many times) most of the US is really > very boring to be in after the sun goes down. Awww, don't say that. I want excitement! I must say that I am also a bit reticent about visiting the states alone for the first time. Blind ingestion of the statistics that you hear on the media outside the US about crime in the US would lead you to believe that the chances of surviving a trip to the states without serious injury or death are about the same as tossing a coin. I sincerely hope that they are wrong as I've got a lot planned this summer so gun-shot wounds would interfere with my busy schedule! ;-> When I was in transit a couple of years ago through Johannesburg I was warned by EVERYBODY not to leave the airport during the layover. I took this information seriously and stayed put. When I eventually got on my flight to London the guy sitting behind me had suffered a minor stab-wound during a robbery whilst he was shaving in one of the restrooms. Nobody told me that it would happen in the airport too! Ouch! > Be sure to pack the shark repelent and kevlar just incase. ^_^ I never leave home without it! > Man, missing a Dolby performance by a week or so would really > eat me up. No comment... (seethe, furious wringing of hands, grimace) > That reminds me, are there any colors I shouldn't wear in > certain parts of Britain or else the local football fans will kick my head in? HAHAHAHA! This is the obverse of the US-crime scenario. UK football hooliganism is blown out of all proportion by the media. I remember when I was a kid there was a time when some teams 'fans' had a bad reputation for causing trouble at away matches and it kind-of escalated into a fear phenomenon. Manchester United supporters were feared throughout the land to the extent that when they played my home club the city centre virtually emptied on the Saturday matchday. This tabloid dream-story was keenly adopted by the papers and it spread. If you look at the official police stats for football related violence British fans are not at the top of the table but they always, always make the headlines and TV news when something happens abroad. Incidentally, if you are interested in football hooliganism related deaths, murders, homicides etc. Germany currently holds the trophy. Violence at Dutch football matches and outside is standard procedure, so much so that it rarely makes the news. Considering that the strips used by football clubs in the UK between them cover every conceivable colour - and a few inconceivable ones of late actually - the only safe way to visit the UK would be to walk around completely naked! That would take care of the colour problem but might open up a few others... This kind of thing doesn't happen there. Although wearing a football shirt in the wrong neighborhood would certainly get you in trouble. That, however, is not a UK local scenario. > > Wow, can you tell I'm stressed out? All this morbid talk. > I'm going in to get 2 wisdom teeth out on Friday. Phew, today I feel like I need some put in! Everytime I have had general anesthetic (all of three times) I have had exactly the same dream on 'the way out'. I'm lying there on the bed and the mask goes on and you are instructed to breath deeply etc. As the gas starts to kick in I see colourful wooden blocks begin falling from very high up and they start to hit me as they land. they don't hurt but gradually the plethora of colourful cubes starts to cover me completely until I can't see anymore. Exactly the same each time. Weird. May the cube be with you! Question: I have a European Union driving license. Can I rent a car in the USA with that license? Do I need a international one? Cheers! BTW. Is it expensive to rent cars in the US? A lot today I know and I should be working but I aint finished yet! Dolby related bit: ================== I was snooping around the other day when I found this: http://www.imaja.com/webportfolio/td/index.html There are some interesting images of the man with the $180000 plant-stand there. Cheers, Jon ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 11 Apr 2001 11:13:05 +0300 From: jonathan.chiddick@nokia.com Subject: Alloy: And by the way... I just got a mail from GEMM about stuff that I collect and there's and interesting new one. URGES 7" $7.35 VG+ B 91906418 b/w Leipzig Picture sleeve UK ARMAGEDDON AS007 HOTWAX, SPECIAL ORDER $7.35 for URGES is cheap. If anyone wants one. Cheers! Jon ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 11 Apr 2001 09:10:48 -0700 From: Monya De Subject: Alloy: Don't cry for me Palo Alto The above subject line refers to a song in a mockumusical at Stanford, where they made fun of how commercialized PA has become. Anyway, considering I lived there for 4 years, let me take this one. Palo Alto is 40 or so min south of San Francisco, home of yuppie dotcommmies and sophisticated childless professor couples. Downtown is pretty fun if you're hungry. my favorite restaurants: Nola's (awesome decor and setting. Creole food and happening bar.) Mandarin Gourmet Janta (indian) Jing Jing (spicy, cheap chinese) Zibibbo is a very popular "destination" spot that I have never been to. Also, they have a Spago sort of near downtown. Miyake's is super fun on a fri or sat. night for sushi, screaming waiters, disco ball, smoke and sake bombs. And there is good boutique shopping and used book shopping. You can also go to the stanford shopping center, which is pretty much on campus and is a huge and beautifully designed outdoor mall. They have all the super upscale stuff like Tiffany's. Go to the gourmet food store and sample all the yummy bread dips. oh yeah, bars: Downtown: Rose and Crown F + A's Left at Albuquerque Rudy's The Elbe? Menlo Park has :the Oasis and the Dutch Goose Antonio's Nut House on california Ave. California is also good for shopping/eating. Finally, the stanford theatre downtown has old movies and an organ player, and the Aquarius has excellent indie films. whew! have fun Monya ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 11 Apr 2001 18:56:57 +0100 From: "Trevor James Blagg" Subject: Re: Alloy: (OT) phobias, was: Thomas performs!! Robin Wrote: > That reminds me, are there any colors I shouldn't wear in certain parts of > Britain or else the local football fans will kick my head in? > > xxxxx > rOBIN t > Anything that is not Aston Villa colours i.e. Claret and Blue is not considered tasteful!!! Trevor.... ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 11 Apr 2001 19:05:06 +0100 From: "Trevor James Blagg" Subject: Re: Alloy: Very OT - Thank a Veteran Sorry you're going through a rough time Melissa. I'm not so good with words in these situations, but I hope the pain doesn't block out the thought that she is probably some sort of guardian angel to you now. Hope you are o.k. Keep playing Flying North.... Trevor.... - ----- Original Message ----- From: Merujo To: Sent: Monday, April 09, 2001 3:04 AM Subject: Alloy: Very OT - Thank a Veteran > > Hi, folks, > > A little over a week ago, my mom passed away, after a difficult struggle > with declining health. I was on a little commuter flight, trying so hard > to get back to my home town when she passed away. I didn't get to say > goodbye to her, and I will forever feel so much regret for that. > > My mother was a remarkable woman - raised in the deserts of Nevada and > in a mountain homested in Oregon by hard people who had come west along > the Oregon Trail in old horsedrawn wagons. She was born to pioneer > circumstances, and a pioneer she remained all her life. Mom was one of > only 1,000 Women Airforce Service Pilots (WASP) to serve the United > States armed forces in the Second World War. Like her brother before > her, my mother was drawn to flight early in life, and she gladly > accepted her country's call to duty, flying all types of warbird and > training plane for the U.S. Army Air Force. Sadly, Mom was the only of > her siblings to survive the war. > > Mom loved to fly, but she gave it all up to raise nine children on my > father's shoestring salary. I never once heard my mother complain about > being broke all the time or about all craziness that surrounded her with > all of us to take care of. She always supported my dreams, and she never > told me there was anything I couldn't do. When I had a pile of money > (long gone) and was living in Moscow, I asked Mom if I should save it > for a down payment on a house or use it to travel the world, she told > me, "See the world now! You have a lifetime to work and pay a mortgage!" > > Mom's health had been failing for several years, yet she never missed a > Sunday night phonecall to each of her nine children. I can't believe > that I'll never hear her voice again. I've been looking for my old > answering machine, hoping that her voice is on the tape. I'm so afraid > I'll forget what it sounds like. > > I would never be the person I am today, and I would never have had the > courage to do the things that I have done without my mother's strength > of character. Up until last month, Mom was still doing volunteer > education projects, allowing grade school kids, high schoolers, and > college students to come by and interview her for their WWII studies, > hoping that children of today will keep alive the memory of the > sacrifices made and the victories won. My mother is my hero. She was a > shining example of The Greatest Generation. > > If you know a veteran of WWII, please thank them for saving the world > for us. Consider sending a card to a forgotten veteran at a VA home. > Tend a grave or leave a flower at a veteran's cemetary. > > Flying North always reminded me of my mother. I think I'm going to go > listen to it now. > > Hope you and your families are all well and happy. > > With best wishes to all, > > Melissa Jordan ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 11 Apr 2001 17:11:24 -0400 From: Robin Thurlow Subject: Re: Alloy: (OT) phobias, was: Thomas performs!! Trevor James Blagg wrote: > > Anything that is not Aston Villa colours i.e. Claret and Blue is not > considered tasteful!!! So, hopefullly my black-and-white striped railroad conductor's cap will not win me the beating of my life if I wear it around edinburgh? :) Robin T ------------------------------ Date: Wed, 11 Apr 2001 22:14:30 -0400 From: "Mary A. Brown" Subject: Alloy: A daft joke and TMDR Guitar question? Tim, In response to your question: > Does Thomas play Guitar ? I remember that Thomas had said that in 1980 he ran off to Paris and tried to support himself by busking in the Metro, playing horrible versions of "Stairway to Heaven" or something to that effect. So perhaps the answer is, "Yes, but badly". He does play a mean tambourine, though. He played it with one hand while the other manned the synth at the Soft Boys concert the other night. Europa ------------------------------ End of alloy-digest V6 #92 **************************