From: owner-alloy-digest@smoe.org (alloy-digest) To: alloy-digest@smoe.org Subject: alloy-digest V4 #42 Reply-To: alloy@smoe.org Sender: owner-alloy-digest@smoe.org Errors-To: owner-alloy-digest@smoe.org Precedence: bulk X-To-Unsubscribe: Send mail to "alloy-digest-request@smoe.org" X-To-Unsubscribe: with "unsubscribe" as the body. alloy-digest Monday, February 8 1999 Volume 04 : Number 042 Today's Subjects: ----------------- Alloy: Well, it looks like things got worse... ["Lucinda L. Frattarola" <] Re: Alloy: Well, it looks like things got worse... ["Guy Story, KC5GOI" <] Re: Alloy: mapping site [CJMark@aol.com] Re: Re: Alloy: Hello [CJMark@aol.com] Re: Alloy: Well, it looks like things got worse... ["I T Admin @ Govt Off] Re: Alloy: A little bird tells me .... [CJMark@aol.com] Re: Alloy: Well, it looks like things got worse... [MacSuirtain ] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sun, 7 Feb 1999 10:57:39 -0500 From: "Lucinda L. Frattarola" Subject: Alloy: Well, it looks like things got worse... I don't know what to do. My brother-in-law commited suicide yesterday. He drove his tow truck right into the Delaware river...I'm at a loss of what to do. He was the husband of my husband's sister. I wasn't close to him. He left behind 2 kids one 6 and one 3. I'm not that close to his sister, who was a bridesmaid at our wedding. She's taking it well. What do I do? Lucinda ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 7 Feb 1999 13:56:55 -0600 From: "Guy Story, KC5GOI" Subject: Re: Alloy: Well, it looks like things got worse... I am sorry for what has happend Lucinda. I sympathise with your troubles. About the only thing you can do is be there for them and pay close attention that nothing else goes wrong. The family will need a person who is strong and can listen. Wish I could say dont let it get to you but I know it will. I lost my dad to cancer in 97 and just got over it. My friends and wife helped me a great deal. Guy - -----Original Message----- From: Lucinda L. Frattarola To: alloy@smoe.org Date: Sunday, February 07, 1999 1:09 PM Subject: Alloy: Well, it looks like things got worse... > > > I don't know what to do. My brother-in-law commited suicide yesterday. > He drove his tow truck right into the Delaware river...I'm at a loss of > what to do. He was the husband of my husband's sister. I wasn't close to > him. He left behind 2 kids one 6 and one 3. I'm not that close to his > sister, who was a bridesmaid at our wedding. She's taking it well. What > do I do? > > Lucinda > ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 7 Feb 1999 18:01:50 EST From: CJMark@aol.com Subject: Re: Alloy: mapping site Hey Robin.. Yes.. Map Blast is one.. there is another one but I can't remember the name right off hand. I'll look it up and try to let you know, Lissu.. also.. the neat thing about map blast is that it allows you to determine how far the blast would cover from "ground zero".. which allows us to officially discuss this matter here on the Alloy Channel. Ho ho ho! Ciao for now.. Mark ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 7 Feb 1999 18:07:21 EST From: CJMark@aol.com Subject: Re: Re: Alloy: Hello Hey Lucinda.. Welcome! I'm a bit late to respond.. I'm sure everyone else has already said hello.. but I just got back from a week long cruise.. Yes.. I know it sounds luxurious.. but I was working. Hope you enjoy Alloy.. I have enough e-mail in my box today to bury myself for a week catching up.. Ciao for now.. Mark ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 07 Feb 1999 23:17:55 +0000 From: "I T Admin @ Govt Office North West" Subject: Re: Alloy: Well, it looks like things got worse... At 10:57 07/02/99 -0500, you wrote: > > > I don't know what to do. My brother-in-law commited suicide yesterday. > He drove his tow truck right into the Delaware river...I'm at a loss of > what to do. He was the husband of my husband's sister. I wasn't close to > him. He left behind 2 kids one 6 and one 3. I'm not that close to his > sister, who was a bridesmaid at our wedding. She's taking it well. What > do I do? > > Lucinda > > Lucinda, This is terrible news. There is little we can do to help you, other than to offer our sympathy in what will be a difficult time for you. I think all you can reasonably be expected to do is help if asked and offer sympathy when the opportunity arises. There is no way of knowing what's "right" to do. People react differently to bereavement, but getting over it can take a long, long time. Your husband's sister may be 'taking it well' at the moment, but it may be some time before she really comes to terms with what's happened. It may help if you understand the grieving process, which is well documented, and goes through a number of stages. There are plenty of good books on the subject, so it would do no harm to get hold of one, just for your own use. Hope this is of SOME help. Slarv ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 7 Feb 1999 18:27:42 EST From: CJMark@aol.com Subject: Re: Alloy: A little bird tells me .... Happy Birthday Lissu!!!! Mark ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 07 Feb 1999 18:32:19 -0500 From: MacSuirtain Subject: Re: Alloy: Well, it looks like things got worse... Lucinda L. Frattarola wrote: > > > I don't know what to do. My brother-in-law commited suicide yesterday. > He drove his tow truck right into the Delaware river...I'm at a loss of > what to do. He was the husband of my husband's sister. I wasn't close to > him. He left behind 2 kids one 6 and one 3. I'm not that close to his > sister, who was a bridesmaid at our wedding. She's taking it well. What > do I do? I'm so very sorry to hear about this, Lucinda. Your sister-in-law may seem to be taking this well, but I bet part of that is sheer shock. I remember reading an article many years ago that has stuck with me. It was written by a woman who lost a spouse to suicide. She remembered that, while the words of consolation and cards and flowers were thoughtful and pleasant, it was the gestures of a neighbor that were the most helpful. The neighbor arrived with homemade foods, already containerized to be microwaved when needed, and offered to do laundry, dishes, and vacuum the house, so the widow could deal with the greater tasks at hand. I remember the last lines of the piece read, "She cleaned our shoes and ironed our clothes for the funeral. She'll never know how much that meant." While I've never had to help anyone through a suicide, I've unfortunately seen family and friends through a number of deaths, and all I can suggest is, offer to be helpful - practical issues can get swept by the wayside by the overwhelming emotional issues for those suffering loss, and, as you are not close to your husband's sister, providing more practical support could be the very best way you can help. With my condolences, Melissa - -- Melissa R. Jordan Owner/Artist, Compass Rose Studios Unique Wearable Art in Large Sizes & Handstamped Handicrafts http://www.erols.com/jamesq/crs/welcome.htm ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 7 Feb 1999 20:02:47 -0700 From: "Keith Stansell" Subject: Re: Alloy: Well, it looks like things got worse... Hi Lucinda, This is sad. My suggestion is to be a good aunt to the kids. I'm sure your sister-in-law will need lots of help in that area, especially right now. I know you aren't that close, but perhaps it is time to become close. Take care, Keith - ----- Original Message ----- From: Lucinda L. Frattarola To: Sent: Sunday, February 07, 1999 8:57 AM Subject: Alloy: Well, it looks like things got worse... > > > I don't know what to do. My brother-in-law commited suicide yesterday. > He drove his tow truck right into the Delaware river...I'm at a loss of > what to do. He was the husband of my husband's sister. I wasn't close to > him. He left behind 2 kids one 6 and one 3. I'm not that close to his > sister, who was a bridesmaid at our wedding. She's taking it well. What > do I do? > > Lucinda > > ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 7 Feb 1999 20:04:35 -0700 From: "Keith Stansell" Subject: Re: Alloy: mapping site Another mapping site that I use a lot is MapQuest http://www.mapquest.com . They provide good driving directions. - -Keith - ----- Original Message ----- From: To: Sent: Sunday, February 07, 1999 4:01 PM Subject: Re: Alloy: mapping site > >Hey Robin.. > >Yes.. Map Blast is one.. there is another one but I can't remember the name >right off hand. I'll look it up and try to let you know, Lissu.. also.. the >neat thing about map blast is that it allows you to determine how far the >blast would cover from "ground zero".. which allows us to officially discuss >this matter here on the Alloy Channel. Ho ho ho! > >Ciao for now.. > >Mark ------------------------------ End of alloy-digest V4 #42 **************************