Courtesy of topfive.com (don't blame me...)


14> "I'm sorry, only venti pass holders are allowed backstage."

13> "It's time for Sir Paul to go on stage, Doc."
    "Thanks. Okay, everyone -- CLEAR!!"

12> "It was just some crank caller offering to take part in a
     reunion tour. I hung up on him since I knew there wasn't
     anyone in Wings named 'Bingo' or 'Dingo' or whatever."

11> "MEDIC!"

10> "His doctors can't seem to identify it, so they're calling it
     a 'magical mystery sore.'"

 9> "There appears to be an octopus' garden growing from inside
     Paul's ears."

 8> "OK, boys, I just checked Paul's room. Matlock's starting
     closing arguments, so be ready to go on in five minutes."

 7> "If I understood the new lyrics correctly, you should probably
     rename it 'Silly *Loathe* Songs.'"

 6> "Y'know, if John were alive to see Paul's new album selling
     at Starbucks, he'd probably shoot *himself*."

 5> "Michael Jackson called and said he'll give you the library
     back if you'll pay off all those meddling kids' parents!"

 4> "Have Ringo bring the limo around."

 3> "When I said I wanted no caffeine and lots of foam, they
     handed me this CD."

 2> "What is the sound of one leg dancing?"


              and Topfive.com's Number 1 Thing Heard
         Backstage at a Recent Paul McCartney Concert...


 1> "Yoko, you grizzly old bitch! How *are* you, dear?"