At Date: Sat, 1 Oct 2005 18:13:28 Bob wrote:

>Re: History Of Violence...Cronenberg should be beaten to death with several
>of the gynocological tools from "Dead Ringers". 3 or 4 cool violent deaths
>surrounded by an hour and a half of crap. Laugh? I almost cried. If there
>was a twist or turn in the plot in must have been in the fact that Viggo's
>emotional range, (to quote Dorothy Parker), runs the emotional gamut from A
>to B, that the lead actress's ridiculous reaction to the "big" reveal was
>completely unreal, and that the coolest plot thread, (the kid and the
>asshole at school), was totally forgotten after a great set up.
>When the audience tittered and giggled at the cheerleader outfitted 69
>scene, I knew I was in a theater full of people that leave their houses
>because nothing there is worth staying home for.
>Feh...

Cronenberg's last digestible flick (pun intended) was "Naked Lunch". And it 
was a piece of convoluted celluloid at best.

I've decided to go see movies based on their trailers from now on or rather, 
lack of trailer. If there's no trailer, then I know I'm at least not going 
to know every plot detail and key scene from the movie in advance.

I had to laugh two weeks ago when trailers for "Cry Wolf" and "Venom" began 
showing up on TV three days before their street dates. Studios must have had 
big hopes in those flicks. Meanwhile, "Into The Blue" trailers have been 
infesting my cable system since JUNE fer chrissakes. Can't wait until 
Jessica Alba's bony ass eats her string bikini so at least we can have some 
non-CGI action sequences on screen. Gee, let me see how this plot's gonna 
play out:

O.C. groomed 20 somethings go on vacation. Loser boyfriend with hot girl 
doesn't measure up in bed so he decides that diving for sunken treasure will 
make her swoon and blow him ashore. Meanwhile, modern day pirates on the 
Gulf have other plans, kill couple's preppy O.C. pals and the battle is on 
to survive sharks, sinking boats and bad guys cast from Bruckheimer TV shows 
like CSI: Miami. Bad guys bite the big one, treasure is lost forever, but 
not before loser boyfriend sacrifices himself for the anorexic woman he 
loves.

Think I'll watch "Jaws: 3-D" instead.


Jaimie Vernon,
President, Bullseye Records
"Not Suing Our Customers Since 1985!!"
http://www.bullseyecanada.com
Author, Canadian Pop Music Encyclopedia
http://jam.canoe.ca/Music/Pop_Encyclopedia/