For those who missed this.... ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Tue, 25 Feb 2003 03:52:32 EST From: Lefsetz@aol.com To: undisclosed-recipients: ; Subject: The Grammys-Blow By Blow SIMON & GARFUNKEL "What a dream I had Pressed in organdy" One night, driving on Route 30, from Brattleboro to Manchester, just before the junction with Route 11, just before the right to Bromley, at almost ten in the evening, I heard "For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her" on the radio. Not long thereafter, camping at Tuckerman's Ravine for a week in April 1968, a long lean blonde woman in stretchpants stuck her nose in the air on the patio of the mountain hut known as Howard Johnson's, and sang "Mrs. Robinson" to no one in particular. The summer before I'd ridden my bicycle to Fairfield University to hear Simon & Garfunkel perform to a half-filled field at a folk festival headlined by Soupy Sales. Those memories are so vivid because the MUSIC is so vivid. Not that we truly knew that at the time. It was an era OVERFLOWING with great music, which was not ancillary to the culture, but the culture itself. There were catchy AM hits. Ten minute FM opuses. Everywhere you went, music was playing. It LINKED us. But that era is over. Simon & Garfunkel tried to recapture the moment last night. ALMOST worked. But we know too much. We know that Paul Simon is unhappy. Probably because his father never acknowledged his talent or success. We know he's envious of Art Garfunkel, for his pure voice, for getting all the accolades. We know Art Garfunkel is one of the great eccentrics. Who realized after his film career petered out that Paul Simon was the best thing that ever happened to him. He's willing to do anything Paul wants to do, anytime, on Paul's terms. But Paul's still too hurt. Yet the music remains. Not sounding dated whatsoever. For a moment thereafter, Paul matched its quality. Especially on "There Goes Rhymin' Simon". But then, Paul lost it too. Sure, he did "Graceland"...but that's not "Bookends". Not that he'd like to hear that from me. So here we have our generation. The best and the brightest. Doing works not even IMAGINABLE at a young age. Then, just trying to get along. Now, looking back at it all and wondering...did we do it right. Did we miss opportunities. Was it really as special as we thought it was, or is it just that it was OUR era. But, when you listen to "For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her", you know...it WAS just that special. "And when I awoke And felt you warm and near I kissed your honey hair With my grateful tears Oh I love you girl Oh I love you" I hope Paul can love Artie again. Forgive him for being born with such a crystalline voice. For it's only the moment that remains. The songs...they'll be forgotten. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow...but sooner than you'd like to think. It's only about the moments we're here. We spend so much time apart, fighting. Why can't we get along. Maybe it's just human nature. NO DOUBT These are not hit songs. One can argue STRONGLY that No Doubt is what's wrong with the business today. Just imagine No Doubt back in '65. Without MTV. AM Top Forty ruling. The Beatles and the Stones and the Kinks and the Beach Boys... They'd be OVER!! Gwen Stefani is a weird kind of star. An ANTI-STAR! She's glamorous, but in a street way. She's larger than life, but tears down her own charisma. Is the GREATEST advertisement against boob jobs in HISTORY! She not only doesn't have it, she FLAUNTS not having it. Wearing tube tops that demonstrate "cleavage" is not in her personal lexicon. But, as much as you can love her. As much as you have to say that the band can actually play. They wrote one hit song, "Don't Speak", and have been trading off it ever since. A secondary act blown up into major stardom. Do we blame Interscope? MTV? The tabloids? Blame 'em all. Just know that I've got no doubt that it would be fun to have Gwen Stefani as a neighbor, but when she came over ten years from now, I'd NEVER be playing her band's records...and you won't be either. NORAH JONES Beautiful and talented. Makes one jealous. Then again, HOW talented. SHE doesn't write the material... And the material is...SUBSTANDARD, SECOND-RATE! I mean it's got great FEEL. She's got a great VOICE! But memorable songs? No way. Shit, ANY song by Joni Mitchell from "Ladies Of The Canyon" to "Court & Spark" is better than EVERY song on Norah Jones' album. Not that I want to beat Norah up. It's a great story. It's real music, it's not plasticized. But, we're in a staggering age of MEDIOCRITY! Why can't the system champion true greatness instead of stuff that might be ear-pleasing, but is teflon-coated and doesn't stick to you. Come on. Sing "Don't Know Why" for me. Do it. THE MOTHERFUCKING SONG OF THE YEAR!! Now sing "Yellow Submarine". FAR from the best Beatles song, but at least you can SING IT! I mean "Don't Know Why" was the SONG of the year. This is RIDICULOUS!! Ah, let's look at the competition... Vanessa Carlton... "A Thousand Miles". It's about the RIFF not the song. And, I hate her and her song on PRINCIPLE! It's MANUFACTURED. And, the song just ain't that great. Bruce's "The Rising". Mediocre record. Worse song. Okay, all you Bruceophiles. Tell me, "The Rising" or "Incident on 57th Street" or "Rosalita"? I rest my case. "Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning)". CERTAINLY not listening to patriotic crap like THIS!! Yet, it IS a song. Got to give it THAT. And then there's "Complicated". A great RECORD, but SONG?? Shit, it's like the Academy members didn't even understand the CATEGORY!!! A song is something ANYBODY can sing that...if it's going to win for Song Of The Year should be a classic. "Eleanor Rigby". Now THAT'S a classic. This category is evidence of how far we've fallen. ALL these songs were made into records that were professional productions. Norah Jones' album is professional and sweet, it's just not cutting edge, just not classic, just not MEMORABLE! Good to play in the background when you're in the kitchen with your apron on, drinking a glass of wine, preparing for a dinner party. But if that were the criterion, the Grammy show would be hosted by "Gourmet" and would be held in Martha Stewart's backyard... FAITH HILL I just don't buy it. Maybe vapid phoniness like this plays in Nashville, but we big city folks kick the tires a bit more, look to see what we're buying. And here I find a tall, pretty attractive woman with a DECENT voice belting mediocre tunes. In an era when country artists are going back to their roots, Faith chose to go mainstream, i.e. BLAND POP. And her audience has rejected this move. Makes any given Dolly Parton record look like "Dark Side Of The Moon". ACTUALLY, have you heard Dolly's recent records? Bluegrass-inflected? Much better than THIS swill. But Dolly's gotten old. Jumped the shark. Proven she's still TALENTED, but talent doesn't mean much in this business anymore. VANESSA CARLTON Word on the street is that Interscope's STILL upside down on this one. She radiates NO sexuality. She can play the piano, but not like a virtuoso. And she writes songs with...not even two-thirds the quality of those by Michelle Branch. Michelle Branch. Overexposed too. And now, let's say what a great career move it was to work with Carlos Santana. Can you say STIFF! And, any credibility she MIGHT have had was dissipated by working with Mr. Hat and showing she'll do ANYTHING for money and exposure. But her songs. Her record. "The Spirit Room". You can LISTEN to it. "Everywhere" was, and you're probably turned off. But get ahold of a copy of the album and play "All You Wanted". God, THIS is a better song than all those nominated...except maybe for Avril's. Then there's "Drop In The Ocean". An English stoner track via Arizona. Heavy, moody. And then, "Sweet Misery", which is the same kind of track as "A Thousand Miles", but much BETTER! So why did Vanessa get this slot? Because NOBODY at Maverick is a match for Jimmy Iovine. And, Michelle's record was released last year. Not that Michelle is godhead. It's just that there's some genuine SONGWRITING talent there. Which shines through on her album. Whereas Vanessa Carlton comes across as Ron Fair's latest PROJECT! And without questioning whether ANYBODY would or should be interested in Ron Fair's latest project, isn't it supposed to be about the ARTIST! Isn't the producer supposed to be a CONDUIT! Instead of almost being the artist himself, the singer being just...a singer. Maybe Michelle Branch only has this one record in her. Hell, she wrote most of it YEARS ago. And she's a TRULY mediocre performer. And has NO charisma. But aren't TRUE artists misfits/geeks? Laura Nyro is rolling over in her grave. Confronted with what young female piano-playing has devolved into. There was more honesty in ONE Laura Nyro BREATH than in all of Ms. Carlton's LIFE! JOHN MAYER A highlight, as stated previously. Not a fully-realized song. A good lyrical concept, some great lines...but he's got work to do. Unless he's lazy and mistakes all the adulation as certification of his greatness. JAMES TAYLOR & Y0-YO MA Mmm... Certainly a better song than ANY of those nominated. A haunting performance. What a wonder to see Yo-Yo Ma there pulling the bow out of instinct, fingering the neck, KNOWING he's never going to make a mistake. Almost like Jeff Beck. And great that James didn't sing "Fire and Rain". But, I WISH SOMETHING, ANYTHING on James' new record was even CLOSE to "Sweet Baby James" and he'd performed that instead of this. I've heard "Sweet Baby James" ad infinitum. I don't mind hearing it again. I'll never burn out on it. But this performance was a bit less special as a result of the ubiquity of James' performance of this song. Still, how can you argue with... "Now the first of December was covered with snow And so was the turnpike from Stockbridge to Boston" I didn't need to look those lines up. Didn't need to be reminded by the record. THEY'RE PART OF MY DNA! And, if you know the turnpike from Stockbridge to Boston. If you know the Berkshires, which appeared dreamlike on account of that frosting. You can't HELP but be touched EACH AND EVERY TIME YOU HEAR THIS SONG! Which is not the case with Norah Jones' "Don't Know Why". When James sings you get a mental PICTURE!!!! If you've been there, you get an aching in your heart, for...Massachusetts. THIS is what a great song is. THIS is what great music is. Too bad it was written almost thirty five years ago. And nothing new is its equal. DIXIE CHICKS Not only is it an almost thirty year old song, the ORIGINAL cuts this take to RIBBONS!! FURTHERMORE, what's up with these country chicks and their HAIRDOS??? Is Shania Twain CONTAGIOUS?? I mean Natalie Maines...is it your goal to be a curiosity, to have us stare at your hair? Or is it just that you want to appear taller. Representative of the evening. Professional performance. You could watch it, enjoy it, but don't THINK about it. Because then you'll realize, there's not much there. NEW YORK PHILHARMONIC I might have to start listening to the classical station on XM... They positively KILLED! Shit, I usually FAST-FORWARD through this shit. But, showed how brilliant Leonard Bernstein was. Not that Leonard wasn't hip...hell, he acknowledged Brian Wilson. We don't have a new Leonard Bernstein, and we don't have a new Brian Wilson. How fucked up is that? Why IS that? Maybe people became so enamored of MONEY that artistry WENT OUT THE WINDOW?? I mean think of P. Diddy, singing it's all about the benjamins. Not that they didn't want to get paid, but can you imagine the SIXTIES artists singing this? Not even the rockers, but the Motown acts too, who were constantly RIPPED-OFF! No, they played for the joy. And you could feel the joy in the records. They wanted to TEST the limits, not co-host TRL, not vacation in St. Bart's, not appear in the gossip column. And just watching the musicians. Whew! Exciting to see such talent and professionalism. COLDPLAY (With the Philharmonic) This is the kind of moment that's supposed to bring down the house. But it played a little flat. I've got this MP3. Of Split Enz playing "Message To My Girl" with the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra. I know nothing about the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra, but they can't be BETTER than the New York Philharmonic. Still, in this MP3 the orchestra and the act MELD! The performance is ONE! Whereas last night, the Philharmonic was like a string section behind a rock band. Or maybe it was that the singer's voice SAT ON TOP of the production, instead of being PART OF IT, like Neil Finn's in "Message To My Girl". And "Message To My Girl" vies with "Waterloo Sunset" as one of the most beautiful songs ever written. "Politik" does not. They almost had me going. Then I remembered the same stage seventeen months ago. October 2002. Remember the Who in the Concert For New York City? They were positively MIND-BLOWING!!! You HAD to stand up and applaud. It was an instinctive response. I KNEW I was supposed to respect and be wowed by this collaboration between Coldplay and the Philharmonic, but I just wasn't. Entertaining, yes. Transcendent, no. AVRIL LAVIGNE Worst performance of the show. You write (well, with others) the CATCHIEST track of the year...and you REFUSE TO PERFORM IT? Oh, I could understand if you played your new single. Which I think is HEINOUS! The Grammys should be about celebrating your success, not about working new product. But, Avril plays her already OVER "Sk8er Boi" instead of "Complicated"? Sure, I'd seen her do "Complicated", but... You castigated BRUCE for doing his hit over and over! Yes, I did. But, I think Bruce has talent. He can WRITE hit material. He's been around for a long time. Avril? She's a joke. Will be lucky if she has as many hits as Gary Puckett and the Union Gap. Furthermore, the song's a classic. But, in ANY event, Avril's voice was flat. She didn't hit the notes. She appeared COMPLETELY amateurish. I'd say career-ending. The clothes being ripped off the empress. But, in today's society, you're not over until the MACHINE says you are. And the machine believes in Avril. Public sentiment...not a big factor. NELLY He's got SOMETHING. And I love that he's not given up his hometown of St. Louis. Hasn't gone Hollywood. But, I'm not a big partier. I don't listen to Top Forty radio. So, "Hot in Herre"? Okay. But not MY song of the summer. As for Kelly Rowland. She IS the wrong Destiny's Child, right? Would have rather seen Maya Rudolph as part of Gemini's Twin instead. At least she's got more TALENT!!! BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN & THE E STREET BAND Now this IS the emperor's new clothes. For all the hype last summer. For all the handicapping. For Bruce being essentially GIVEN the award by the media all fall. He lost. Because the public can smell a stinker from MILES away. We want our artists to GROW! "The Rising" and the reuniting with the E Street Band is a step backwards. I don't know IF Bruce could have gotten back together with the band in a credible way. He realized this. He was on a solo search, trying to reinvent himself. But he gave up. And allowed Jon Landau and Tommy Mottola to concoct this massive publicity campaign that resulted in momentary media blindness...but when most people think of 2002, they'll think of "Complicated" before "The Rising", even OLDSTERS. It's tough to step down. Tough when you USED to be the king. But some people have pulled it off. By constantly reinventing themselves. Classic example, Picasso. Good example, Bob Dylan. Oh, but you say Picasso was a PAINTER! Well, you've got to understand, rock was the baby boomers' art. Where it was at. Where the limits were tested, where the great statements were made. Deep inside your sold-out soul, don't you know this? Can't blame the kids, they've been fed crap from a young age. Then again, ask a kid what his favorite band is. Anybody over 11. And chances are he'll say "Led Zeppelin". ASHANTI Word on the street is brilliant marketing campaign by Lyor Cohen. Putting her together with others first, and then selling her album cheap to get it started and then imploring his troops to press forward. But, is she really talented? My experts in this genre say no. I didn't find her performance memorable. I fast-forwarded. BEE GEES TRIBUTE 'N Sync sucked. What made the Bee Gees SO great was the black underpinnings to their music. This was COMPLETELY absent from 'N Sync's performance. These wooden suburban homeboys concentrated on the words instead of the FEEL! Any given choir from an African-American church could have brought down the house with this same material. Instead, we were treated to a soulless rendition of classic songs. Completely forgettable. Sad. EMINEM I know he got a standing ovation. But I found his performance...FLAT. He used to be an angry young man, railing against injustice. Now that he's been embraced by the mainstream, he just doesn't know how to...ACT. Rumor was he was going to boycott the Grammys. He should have. He's overexposed. And, his absence would show that he doesn't care. That he thinks the awards are bullshit. That he exists OUTSIDE the system. But his handlers must have told him this was TOO GOOD of an opportunity to turn down. So he showed up. Played the Zeppelinesque "Lose Yourself". Yes, "Without Me" peaked half a year ago. And he's performed it live elsewhere. But, "Without Me" is like "Complicated". It IS 2002. If he'd done "Without Me", and given it his ALL, with his anger and attitude, he had a chance to be like the Who. But, he DIDN'T. And I was disappointed. SHERYL CROW AND KID ROCK What was up with that HAIRDO?? Was this some bizarre time warp edition of "High School Reunion" and she was just coming from the prom?? Wow. And that song... IT'S NOT A HIT!!! IT SUCKS! I didn't need to hear "Soak Up The Sun", but couldn't you at least play something MEMORABLE?? Like that new hit single. You know, the duet, the one with KID ROCK! ANY student of the game thought that was the plan when they heard that Kid Rock was appearing with Sheryl. A typical Grammy play, performing the new hit...but, it's what people wanted to SEE! And better and more honest than anything on Sheryl's complete album. But no, we get this "You're An Original" crap. Don't know if this was payback to Jimmy Iovine for allowing "Picture" to be released as a single, but it was ALL WRONG! But, got to say, this one performance rehabilitated Kid Rock's image as much as it hurt Sheryl's. Kid Rock looked like a natural, a ROCKER! Sheryl looked like a POSEUR! With her facelift short dress I'll do ANYTHING to stay on top image. Sure, you're still in the public eye Sheryl, but what about your DIGNITY??? You can't stay on top forever, especially when you're such a marginally talented songwriter. What are you gonna say and do five years from now? How are you gonna explain these faux pas to the peeps you run into? You're lost little girl. CLASH/JOE STRUMMER TRIBUTE I didn't buy it for a minute. Should have been Metallica outside on a flatbed truck, just ripping it up. It was a tribute, instead of the thing itself. Proving why some people are originals, have got it and can't be imitated. Then again, one can REINTERPRET!! Shit, Aretha Franklin could have done a better job with this. Joe Cocker. Bruce. Yeah, when I see you I think of punk. Little Steven too. Dave Grohl. And here we have it. A smart guy. A TALENTED guy. But EVERYTHING HE'S EVER DONE, everything he'll ever DO, can't compete with ONE song of the band he used to be in, with its original, Kurt Cobain. Elvis Costello. You've got a bit of the pedigree. Would have been better if you'd performed this alone. But, in the world today, we need STUNTING, we need OVERKILL!! They respected the song, they didn't respect the man. If Joe Strummer were there, he would have railed against Bush. The war. Would have spoken of injustice. The starving and the needy. Some would have cheered, some would have left. But there would be no doubt that there was an original onstage, who couldn't help but be himself. So all you Clash fans. Who loved the band. Who say it's your favorite ever. Don't send me hate e-mail. Just pull out the "London Calling" double LP. Listen to the title track. Listen to "Guns Of Brixton". Listen to "Sandinista!". And know that the originals are still there, the band has a legacy, you can be a fan, but what was once there, living and breathing, is now gone. It's history. Like this show. With lame announcers like the constantly behatted, jive Alicia Keys. Like the ignorant Fred Durst. Like the image-changed not only in countenance but attitude Erykah Badu. But no one ever remembers what people say about music. They only remember the music ITSELF! The music last night wasn't very memorable. Nothing like Alanis Morissette playing "You Oughta Know" with an orchestra back in 1997. It was WATCHABLE. Like those movies released by the big companies every weekend, hyped by endless commercials. But it didn't penetrate. Didn't get under your skin, into your SOUL! The majors talk about the death of our business, with burning and file-trading. My hope is with all this new technology artists will be inspired to create and will be able to produce their work cheaply and get it distributed to many people OUTSIDE the system. All the technology's in place. It might be our only hope. Since the main system is old and decrepit. Sans innovation. Sans originality. The hip and the mainstream have merged, and we're all the worse for it. But there are STILL outsiders left, who can now be heard. Please, please, don't give up. This is your time. You have an OPPORTUNITY!!! The Grammys are a joke. No matter how hip they try to make them, they're still a joke. Because great music comes from unfettered inspiration. Something that can't be categorized. Something that's not in competition with other works, but sui generis. It's kind of like what that old judge said about pornography...you know it when you see it...you know it when you hear it. Whether it be the Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations". Or Marvin Gaye's "What's Goin' On". Or Bob Dylan's "It's Alright Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)". One listen is enough. They're not creating stuff like this anymore. Which was unique and uncategorizable when IT was released. But it doesn't mean it can't happen. But it won't until people start questioning the institutions, the MONEY and start concentrating once again on the ART!