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| From | "Judy B" <HeyJude@socal.rr.com> |
| Subject | You Might Be Too Old to Gig If.... |
| Date | Tue, 3 Jan 2006 16:07:25 -0800 |
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Some of you may relate to this one........Judy (HeyJude)
> > You Might Be Too Old to Gig If ---
> > -- Before each gig, you find yourself warming up more parts of your
> > body than you use to play your instrument.
> > -- It becomes more important to find a place onstage for your box fan,
> > than your amp.
> > -- During the second set, you scream for the drummer to please stop
> > hitting those annoying cymbals.
> > -- You refuse to play out of tune.
> > -- Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of
> > golf.
> > -- Your fans have left by 10:30 p.m.
> > -- All you want from groupies is a foot massage.
> > -- You love shopping the dollar store because you can sing along to
> > most of your play list.
> > -- You hire band members for their values instead of their talent.
> > -- Instead of a fifth piece, your band wants to spring for a roadie
> > with the extra money.
> > -- You've lost the directions to the gig.
> > -- Prepping for the gig involves plucking hair from your chin or nose.
> > -- Most of the hair you've plucked from your chin or nose is gray.
> > -- You need your glasses to see your amp settings.
> > -- You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage.
> > -- You're thrilled to have New Year's Eve off.
> > -- The waitress is your daughter.
> > -- You stop the set because your bottle of Ibuprofen fell behind the
> > speakers.
> > -- Most of your crowd just sways in their seats.
> > -- You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar
> > case.
> > -- You no longer use a tip jar.
> > -- You refuse to play without earplugs.
> > -- You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 p.m. instead of
> > 9:30 p.m.
> > -- You want an opening act.
> > -- You check the TV schedule before booking a gig.
> > -- High notes make you cough.
> > -- Your gig stool has a back.
> > -- You're related to at least one other member of the band.
> > -- You need a nap before the gig.
> > -- You don't let anyone "sit in."
> > -- After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.
> > -- During the breaks, you now go to your van to lie down.
> > -- You prefer a music stand with a light.
> > -- You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon.
> > -- You can't operate without a set list.
> > -- You say you double on bass.
> > -- You discourage playing longer than contracted.
> > -- You have a contract.
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