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| From | Kevin Hunt <prayphormojo@yahoo.com> |
| Subject | Amen little Steven |
| Date | Mon, 19 Sep 2005 18:11:44 -0700 (PDT) |
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LITTLE STEVEN'S KEYNOTE ADDRESS RADIO & RECORDS
CONVENTION 2005 - JACOBS MEDIA SUMMIT
Date: Thursday, July 23, 2005
Place: Renaissance Hotel, Cleveland, Ohio
Audience: 250 Program Directors
Fred Jacobs introduces 4-minute video bio. At its
conclusion the Dovells' "You Can't Sit Down" explodes
from the speakers as 5 Go-Go girls come out of the
wings surrounding Fred, much to his discomfort. Little
Steven enters to thunderous applause. He cuts off the
music with a wave of his hand, leans into the
microphone and says "Ladies and Gentlemen, Fred
Jacobs."
The music returns as the girls exit. A stunned
audience applauds wildly as Fred, very
uncharacteristically, dances off with them.
Little Steven: Well that was worth the price of
admission alone. (more applause and laughter) (paces
with the hand held mic for a minute, and then . . . )
I Love Radio! (applause once again erupts) And I feel
nothing but love in this room because as I look
around, I see only two kinds of people. Our beloved
affiliates . . . and future affiliates. (laughter) So
now matter what happens in this next half hour,
remember what I just said. It's just family talking.
And without any further disclaimers let me ask the
only important question that is on my mind, and I'm
sure you've been thinking about it also, especially
lately.
(pause)
WHEN DID THE F*CKING PUSSIES TAKE OVER?
(applause and laughter)
When? Don't you look forward to the day when your
grandson is on your knee and he looks up and says,
"Grampa weren't you in radio once?"
"Yes, Grandson," you'll reply.
"Could I ask you something," he'll say.
"Of course, my love, anything," you'll say.
"Grampa where were you WHEN THE F*CKING PUSSIES TOOK
OVER?" (more laughter)
Where were we? What happened? Things are out of line
and we're not leaving here today until we straighten
it out.
(applause and laughter)
Now I was going to wait for this but we might as well
get right to it since it is all everybody's talking
about. I have come to praise JACK not to bury him.
(laughter - uncertain applause) The guys at Infinity
are friends of ours, as is everybody else, we got
nothing but friends you all know that. And I've gotta
say I'm proud of these guys for having the balls to
shake things up. Things needed shaking up. And history
will remember them in a very positive way when looking
back at this world changing moment. Having said that .
. .
Replacing 33 year old New York oldies institution
CBS-FM with JACK is like replacing the Statue of
Liberty with a blow-up doll.
(eruptions of laughter and applause)
But again, change is good. And necessary. With a
little bit of luck JACK will last 10 or 12 months
because it is obvious people want something different,
they are hungry for something, anything. So it could
be 6 months before anybody actually listens to JACK.
Once they do it is doomed for 3 obvious reasons. At
the moment it is replacing oldies formats but it is
not an oldies format in the true sense of the word.
It's mostly 80's, some 70's, some 90's. Now it must be
said that the oldies format is vulnerable because over
the last 5-10 years it has, in a word, sucked. It has
sucked for a very simple reason, somebody had the
brilliant idea to eliminate the 50's and replace it
with the 70's. This was done by somebody uniquely
stupid and deaf and ignorant and a bad businessman on
top of it all. So naturally, everybody copied it and
the 50's disappeared virtually overnight.
Now let's digress and examine this oldies thing for a
minute. Assuming you accept the fact that those
overseeing the oldies format these last 5 years - 10
years - are, in fact, stupid, deaf, ignorant, and bad
businessmen, let's deal with it. As far as stupid,
deaf, and ignorant, when it comes to decades that
matter, that matter historically, in terms of
influence, importance, and
never-to-be-heard-again-quality - that is the 50's and
60's. Everything we do, everything we are comes from
those two decades.
You're gonna throw one away? You're gonna replace
Elvis, Little Richard, Gene Vincent, Eddie Cochran,
Johnny Burnette, Chuck Berry, Bo Diddley, Buddy Holly,
Lloyd Price, and Fats Domino with, all due respect,
Donna Summer and the Bee Gees? You're gonna replace
primal, vital, timeless, forever cool rock and roll
pioneers with disco? Disco?
You wanna know what disco is good for? Disco is for
when you're drunk at a wedding with your old lady and
you want to act like an idiot and be John Travolta for
an hour or two. That's where it belongs. Not on radio.
And to the issue of oldies being bad business - all
you hear - I'm assuming from sales people - is we must
lower our demo's. The oldies demographic are getting
too old - that's the rationale for replacing the 50's
with the 70's.
Now if all there was to sell in the world were Fruit
Loops, Play Stations,and sneakers - they might have a
point. But I got a little secret to share. You know
that age group - 35 to 65 - that nobody in sales seems
to care about?
THAT'S WHERE ALL THE F*CKING MONEY IS!
(laughter, applause)
I mean ALL the f*cking money.
35 to 65.
Memo to sales team - SELL THEM SOMETHING!
And, by the way, if you want younger people listening,
you can get that done. And I mean kids, if you want
them.
Who is cooler? Early Elvis or Elton John?
What appeals more to kids, Gene Vincent's black
leather attitude, Eddie Cochran's teenage frustration,
Little Richard's cry of liberation, and Dion's total
Soprano's coolness - or the Eagles?
You want wild? Put together the Sex Pistols,
Audioslave, and the Wu-Tang Clan - they aren't as wild
as Jerry Lee Lewis in his prime.
But you have to explain that. Show it, illustrate,
educate, sell it.
Alright - digression over - so JACK isn't oldies so it
must be some kind of classic rock/pop hybrid. But JACK
doesn't address the two biggest problems of classic
rock. 15 years ago I said we're chasing all the
personality out of rock radio and into talk and
sports. And the ratings went with it.
We need more personality, not less, and JACK has none.
No DJ's means no personal relationship with the
audience. Eventual apathy is inevitable.
The other big issue classic rock must consider is it
must start playing new music again.
I've suggested it to my own affiliates and I'll keep
saying it every change I get. We've got a big problem.
Look around. Pearl Jam does some business. Dave
Matthews - if he's rock at all - does well. Maybe
Oasis breaks this year in the U.S. Maybe Coldplay - if
they're considered rock.
But in a real sense, the last big band through the
door was U2. That's 25 years ago.
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