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ivan@stellysee.de
| From | "floatingunder" <Steven.Durben@cignabehavioral.com> |
| Subject | Re: For Judy - List Etiquette |
| Date | Tue, 22 Jun 2004 13:40:23 -0000 |
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--- In audities@yahoogroups.com, Tam OShanter <shamotanter@y...>
wrote:
> Sam Smith wrote:
>
> > I don't know either of the principals
> > in this thing, and Tam may actually be
> > quite cool, and may well be appalled
> > that the post was perceived in a way
> > that may not have been intended.
>
> I was quite shocked that Judy took my post in such a
> negative fashion (along with a couple of other people
> who rushed, red-faced, to her defense). I thought
> writing a post ala "Hey Jude" was not only
> entertaining, funny and lighthearted, but also
> informative. I was trying to gently let Judy know that
> her posts were unnecessarily long and to trim them; I
> never, EVER meant to suggest that she should leave the
> list, or never post again. Judy's parting comment
> about "probably not posting here much ever again" left
> me with the feeling that -- perhaps -- a little
> passive aggression was being applied. It's okay, I'm
> guilty of that, too, sometimes. Ask my wife!
I don't think Judy was "applying" anything but rather was upset by
your post and reacted to it. If a person is new to a community and
has expressed their thoughts and then feels blasted and exposed by
someone (whether the person intended it or not) one might naturally
feel like no longer sharing with the community. Especially, if this
is how one first learns of the rules of the community. I don't mean
to belabour this but I think your apology would have been cleaner
without such comments about her being "PA". After all her reaction
was in response to what you said and had nothing to do with your
original compliant of her posting. I'm not trying to keep this going
by any means or to hold your feet to the fire. I honestly trust you
meant no harm, and I actually hope this is the last post on this. I
just want to share that I don't see anything in Judy's response that
you do and your comments serves to minimize that she was impacted
and/or embarrassed by what you said (whether you intended it or
not).
Also, as feedback for what it is worth. My vote is Judy, post as
long of posts as you want. I think a lot of your posts actually are
kind of short in length. The thing is to avoid is reposting the
entire length of other peoples posts. What works is to cut out the
portion of someone's post your responding to, just enough so that
people catch the context. This is actually a reminder for everyone
and new people like Judy who are learning of this for the first time
in recent days.
best, Steve
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