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ivan@stellysee.de
| From | "Holly" <holly@sandplum.com> |
| Subject | Suicides R (not) Us |
| Date | Thu, 23 Oct 2003 13:38:35 -0700 |
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I want to thank Wendy and others who have offered some insight into the world of chronic depression and suicide. I lost several people who very close to me, who each committed suicide. Each time, I had to realize that I cannot judge their decision. They were in a mental state that sometimes leads to irrational thoughts and actions. People experiencing an episode of deep depression cannot understand how irrational they are. They are not in control of the mindset, and do not make a conscious decision to prove something, or hurt someone, or even "coward" down to their "demons". They just want their pain to end. Instead of being angry with those I have lost to suicide, I chose to celebrate their lives and the memories they gave me. I am thankful that I have always had the power of music to help me through my darkest times. ES may not have been able to help himself, but his music may have helped save countless fans who have experienced similar despair. To the musicians on this board, I would like to say thank you and ask that you keep providing us fans with your unique form of "therapy".
-Holly
Wendy wrote:
Guys, you're talking about a man who had a severe mental/physiological/physical imbalance which led to, or was exacerbated by, addiction, alcoholism and depression. It's a complex disease, and those who struggle with it very often don't recover from it. To be angry or condemning about his choices is to be child-like in your observations and reactions.
People with this kind of condition who kill themselves are doing so because the pain and hopelessness they feel outweighs the joy of living, and "balanced" people like us could never know the intensity of that kind of decision, thank God. Why condemn, or martyr, anyone who struggles with this?
I have a theory on why artists often court this state of mind/being, and perhaps seem more willing to be "sucked into the abyss" than others. Pain is an incredible source of material because of the poignancy, honesty and depth of feeling, and audiences respond to it because these feelings are universal and the most closely and privately held by us. Artists who choose to be the mouthpiece for those states of mind and heart do humankind quite a service. The danger, of course, is in not having enough emotional health to "go over the precipice" and come back safely again. As for Elliott Smith, I'm sorry he never found peace with it, and I appreciate the music he created.
W.
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