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ivan@stellysee.de
| From | "Andrew Hickey " <stealthmunchkin@lycos.co.uk> |
| Subject | Re: more on elliot smith |
| Date | Fri, 24 Oct 2003 06:14:30 +0100 |
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> He was very sick for a long time, probably 20 years or more. It's
> amazing that he lived as long as he did and actually managed to make 5 /
> 6 records plus touring.
>
> Depression is insidious -- it is self perpetuating -- it makes people
> drug addicts -- and it can kill you.
>
> The man was sick. He was either not properly treated or his disease was
> beyond treatment. His disease killed him. Would you say "fuck you" to
> the guy who's dying of cancer? Ain't no difference here.
Absolutely. Being depressive does not make one exempt from the normal rules of human behaviour, but there
comes a point where the pain you're in overrides any other considerations.
I suffer from depression myself, although I have never yet (touch wood) had a suicidal period, and can only say
that people who don't suffer from this illness really shouldn't try to comment on it, as it's a mindset that's
impossible to understand (I don't understand the way *I've* been thinking when I was in a depressive phase
when I'm out of it again).
I think part of the problem comes from the use of the word depression. A lot of people who have never
experienced the illness think "Well, I've been depressed and I've never killed myself"... depression is not the
same as 'being depressed'. If you've ever not bothered to wash for a week, not gone out of your house, decided
that everyone you know hates you and anyone who claims to love you is only saying it so they can make you feel
worse by hurting you later... *THEN* you know what it's like.
And if you honestly believe that your presence in the world is making life *worse* for everyone, that no-one will
miss you when you've gone and many people will be happy - which is not true of course for *ANYONE*, everyone
has someone who will miss them - then suicide can start to seem like an altruistic act.
That's not to say it is, but the whole point is we are not talking about people who are capable of thinking
rationally at this point.
And while I'm depressive, I have no experience of addiction. Those I know who do, tell me it's even worse. The
combination could easily cause so many problems with one's thinking, and so much pain, that suicide seems like
a great idea in comparison to living another day like that.
YES suicide can (and often does) have a malicious motive. And yes it is not something that should EVER be
romanticised, or spoken of as admirable in any way. I have nothing but contempt for those 'artists' who
romanticise the idea of suicide.
Suicide *is* a selfish, nasty act that causes pain to those around the person who commits it. I've lost close
friends and relatives to it, and have never forgiven any of them for doing something that would cause those
they love so much pain. But that doesn't mean I didn't understand exactly why they did it, and it doesn't mean
my primary reaction was anything other than sorrow that things got so bad for them.
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