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| From | Mark London <mrl@PSFC.MIT.EDU> |
| Subject | Record Industry Solves Internet Piracy Problem! |
| Date | Mon, 10 Feb 2003 18:29:33 -0500 |
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Record Industry Solves Internet Piracy Problem!
RIAA BREAKTHROUGH
Music Industry Unveils New Piracy-Proof Format: A Black, Plastic Disc With
Grooves On It
Music bosses have unveiled a revolutionary new recording format that they
hope will help win the war on illegal file sharing which is thought to be
costing the industry millions of dollars in lost revenue.
Nicknamed the 'Record', the new format takes the form of a black, vinyl disc
measuring 12 inches in diameter, which must be played on a specially
designed turntable'.
"We can state with absolute certainty that no computer in the world can
access the data on this disc," said spokesman Brett Campbell. "We are also
confident that no-one is going to be able to produce pirate copies in this
format without going to a heck of a lot of trouble. This is without doubt
the best anti-piracy invention the music industry has ever seen."
As part of the invention's rigorous testing process,the designers gave some
discs to a group of teenage computer experts who regularly use file swapping
software such as Limewire and gnutella and who admit to pirating music CDs.
Despite several days of trying, none of them were able to hack into the
disc's code or access any of the music files contained within it. "It's
like, really big and stuff," said Doug Flamboise, one of the testers. "I
couldn't get it into any of my drives. I mean, what format is it? Is it,
like, from France or something?"
Invention: Teenage computer hackers struggled to access the new disc.
In the new format, raw audio data in the form of music is encoded by
physically etching grooves onto the vinyl disc. The sound is thus translated
into variations on the disc's surface in a process that industry insiders
are describing as 'completely revolutionary' and 'stunningly clever.'
To decode the data stored on the disc, the listener must use a special
player which contains a 'needle' that runs along the grooves on the record
surface, reading the indentations and transforming the movements back into
audio that can be fed through loudspeakers.
Even Shawn Fanning, the man who invented Napster, admits the new format will
make file swapping much more difficult. "I've never seen anything like
this," he told reporters. "How does it work?"
Pirates: Their days are numbered.
As rumors that a Taiwanese company has been secretly developing a 12 inch
wide, turntable -driven, needle-based, firewire drive remain unconfirmed,
it would appear that the music industry may, at last, have found the
pirate-proof format it has long been searching for.
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